Which TGIF Show Would Yield the Best Census Workers?

I am a very tangential thinker. So yesterday, the combination of putting up that Perfect Strangers video and seeing an April Fools ad on abc.com for a new updated TGIF line-up (The shows you grew up on have grown up too! Tune in Friday night for “Empty House, Man Meets World, Sabrina the 30-Something Witch and Retirin’ with Mr. Cooper!) was enough to get my noggin thinking about the glory days of my favorite night of television as a child. "It's Friday night! And the moooooodd is right! Gonna have some fun! Show you how it's done! TGIF!" Sigh. Sigh again.

Thus I’ve posed the above question so I could do the research and gather it into one place. For you. Because that is what Census Guy does. I do all the searching, so you don’t have to. I stayed up late last night scouring YouTube for theme songs and Wikipedia for info, so I could be prepared to type this up in the morning, when my brain was refreshed.

So let's begin.

Oberservations:

1. Judging by this gallery of “Where are They Now?” almost any of the child actors could really use some extra money. They might consider the census “beneath them” but it is certainly better than the alternatives. Yes, I’m speaking to you, Judy Winslow.

2. It is just a tad alarming how much some of these shows have ingrained themselves in my memory. Here are a few questions, to see if you too have TGIF trivia taking up precious brain cells that could be used to remember your children’s birthdays: 1. What was the name of the Tanner family’s dog? 2. What was the name of the nerdy kid on the first season of Boy Meets World? (Who some mean-spirited sixth-graders decided would be a good nickname for me because we had similar haircuts.) 3. Can you do a close proximity of the “Dance of Joy”? If you can answer all those questions, immediately flush out your brain with an episode of Freaks and Geeks.

3. What is especially disturbing is how much the music gets stuck in my head. Some of it is just lurking there, waiting to spawn again. For example, last night in my research I came across this simple fact: “Jesse and the Rippers had a hit with the song “Forever” which Jesse sang to Rebecca at their wedding.” And immediately, what pops into my brain, but the refrain to this song, which had apparently been waiting latent in my brain for 22 years.



Lori Loughlin deserves an Emmy for keeping a straight face when the gospel choir walks in.

Some of you might even remember the music video that was created for this song. But I’m not posting it here because it features a bare baby’s butt and John Stamos making a frightening amount of sexy-eyes.

4. And of course, the theme songs. I have had Mr. Cooper’s theme in my head ALL MORNING. It is just so catchy.

  

5. Something I didn’t realize though was that the Full House, Perfect Strangers, Family Matters and Step by Step theme songs are all written and sung by the SAME GUY. Listen for yourself if you don’t believe me and send a thank you letter to Jesse Frederick for providing the soundtrack to your childhood.

 

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

5. Grandma Winslow’s reading choice is so much funnier to me now. 

6. There are some naysayers when it comes to Wikipedia, but their extensive and thorough entries on the TGIF line-up is very impressive. Encyclopedia  Brittanica has nothing on Sister, Sister OR Baby Talk.

 7. Does anybody else remember this show: On Our Own: The series centered on seven brothers and sisters (all of whom's names start with "J") in the O'Fallon Park neighborhood of St. Louis who lose their parents and are being raised by the eldest brother, Josh Jerrico. The early episodes focused on the siblings attempting to not be split up by authorities. This lead to Josh, the eldest brother who was trying to raise the family alone, to dress in drag and pose as older guardian, Aunt Jelcinda (also known as "Mama J"), to fool their case worker, Alana Michaels. Alana quickly sees through the charade, but decides to help the family stay together. That was a great show.

8. Did anybody else hate Dinosaurs? 

9. Did anybody else almost skip a birthday party at the roller skating rink because they didn’t want to miss the episode of Family Matters where Rachel’s diner burnt down? 

10. Time to answer the question. So which TGIF show would produce the best batch of census workers? I feel confident saying: Boy Meets World. Cory and Topanga are probably starting a family by now and could use some extra money. (And Topanga totally has the sympathy to correctly spell people’s bizarre names.) Big brother Eric and best friend Shawn no doubt could use some more cash to spend on hair products to continue maintaining their glossy waterfall helmets. And Mr. Feeny is exactly the type of responsible senior citizen I’ve been looking for. His teaching position clears the way for him to accept this perfect summer job.